by Liz Elmquist
Mental health during childhood is something that is often overlooked and misunderstood; however, the lingering effects of the COVID pandemic are bringing more light to this important topic. Childhood mental health is arguably just as important as social, emotional, physical, and cognitive/academic development and when children are mentally healthy, they can thrive across a variety of settings and situations.
We continue to see, feel, hear, and experience the complex challenges shaped by our collective experience of COVID, and children are demonstrating signs, symptoms, and behaviors that are asking us (parents, professionals, teachers, etc) to take notice.
How did covid impact mental health in children?
The COVID pandemic was destabilizing for everyone. Children encountered changes to their routines, dealt with family/financial/environmental stressors, and endured fear/worry about safety –both for themselves and for others. Many children experienced the loss of significant life events (birthday parties, seeing family, connecting with other families, etc.). Some children experienced loss and nearly all children faced social isolation.
How is mental health showing up in the school setting?
Many children continue to struggle with readjusting to social interactions, making friends, and getting the support they need. There has been an observable increase in anxiety, noticeable low self-esteem, difficulty with peer relationships or conflict with peers, and in some instances, school avoidance. We have also seen an increase in anger and behavioral problems, which are often an externalization of how children are responding to/navigating the emotions of their internal world. What feels overwhelming on the inside comes out in intense behaviors, emotional outbursts, tantrums, or dysregulation.
What are some signs of anxiety or depression in children?
Anxiety in children typically presents through physical symptoms: stomachaches, headaches, difficulty falling or staying asleep. It can also look like irritability/anger, defiance, lack of focus, overplanning (must know every aspect of their schedule, struggle with any changes in routine), negative thinking, and avoidance (people, places, or tasks). Depression can look somewhat similar, but also includes feelings of sadness or hopelessness, social withdrawal or isolation, changes in appetite or sleep, increased sensitivity to rejection, fatigue/low energy, loss of interest or pleasure. Please do not diagnose your child based on this constellation of symptoms; rather, if you are concerned about something, please seek professional consultation.
So, how do we move forward and support the needs of children?
ALL of us (teachers, parents, counselors, staff) play a role in identifying areas of need and identifying avenues of support for the mental well-being of children. If you are noticing a change in your child at home or at school, please inform your child’s teacher or contact the school counselor. If you need additional resources for support in the community, please contact the school counselor. Ultimately, children are incredibly resilient and we all want them to be safe, to have hope, and to find the comfort, freedom, and support to be who they are.
What are some things I can do at home to support my child’s mental health?
Establish a sense of structure or routine. Children thrive when they have predictability and consistency. Of course, this may not be possible all the time for a variety of reasons, but folding in routine when you are able, is a helpful foundation for healthy regulation for children. Allow your child to ask questions. Respond to your child in a developmentally appropriate way. Sometimes saying “I don’t know,” is the best answer in the moment! Try to see if you can listen more rather than speaking/responding – kids want to feel heard! Validate and acknowledge their feelings. This helps kids feel seen and understood. Observe and respond to the cues of your child. Sometimes kids need hugs, sometimes they just need someone to listen and help them feel heard. Sometimes they need to run around and have a physical release. Kids will need different things based on how they’re feeling and how they process their world. Notice changes in mood or behaviors. Look for signs or symptoms that feel different than usual and ask for help if you are unsure about what you are seeing. Be mindful of your own feelings and reactions. Children feel our energy and our stress. Take a deep breath for yourself and consider what you are modeling in any given moment. Do your best and remember you are human!
Toolbox for helping your child cope:
– CONNECT with each other or with friends/family.
– Put your screens/devices down and provide undivided attention for 10 minutes!
– Model talking about your feelings in a developmentally appropriate way.
– Journaling (for younger kids you could have them draw a self-portrait to depict how they’re feeling)
– Make a meal together and notice the different smells, textures, colors of what you are making.
– Do something new together.
– Let your child pick an activity.
– Make art or color together.
– Mindfulness activities (www.gonoodle.com geared for ages 5-12)
– Exercise together or separately
– Deep breathing exercises (www.gozen.com there is also a YouTube channel with videos)
– Go on a mindful walk and practice noticing your environment using your senses (What do you see? Hear? Smell?)
– Create a worry box (have your child write down their worries/fears and place them in a special box; they can choose whether they want to read/look at them later. If they choose to revisit the worries, be present with them and let them lead the conversation)
– Help your child create a toolbox for his/her/their own helpful skills (create a physical toolbox of things they can use when dysregulated or having a big feeling. When having different emotions, kids may need different tools in their toolbox. E.g. some children like to draw or journal, while others may need a physical activity.)
